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Submitted on
December 31, 2013
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Oh Christmas dinner, oh winged beast,
Why must you be an appalling feast?
Your gravy chunks like small intestines,
Devouring you my last intention

Oh honey ham, oh deviled eggs,
You are the devil, you laugh as I beg!
Please let me go, let me do as I please,
For nothing is worse than moldy cheese!

Oh pumpkin pudding, oh apple pie,
Your cherries wither like severed eyes!
Chocolate cakes reek of putrid smells—
Lest it isn’t chocolate, but something else…

“Mind your manners, eat your food!”
Says your aunt, her knife at you
After the meal, I was several pounds thinner;
Even Hell shivers at the hearse’s dinner!
It's corny, I know /aha. Please don't kill me, I mean well! I have a thing for bleak humor and bright, happy poems, I don't know why. I just think it's kind of entertaining--hopefully you agree. This could be your New Year's Eve dinner (if you have one), your Thanksgiving Dinner, Christmas dinner, or any dinner in between, if you want. I'm going to be eating a dinner today, for New Year's Eve, which is why this was kind of sickening for me LOL. My appetite has been diminished almost instantaneously. Hopefully, you agree to this, as well. 
I'm a procrastinator, which is why I'm submitting this (and others) today. They're all entries for contests, which I should have submitted earlier. Oh, well. 
It sounds a lot like a few of my other poems, and it probably is, considering when I write contest entries, I switch into "formal mode". 
Enough of my babbling--enjoy, if you will! A Happy New Year to all of my wonderful supporters, by the way.
Entry for: :iconlove-original-lit:
Oh, by the way (again)--the title of this poem was inspired by the title of an episode on the Discovery Channel. It is also about the hearse, so you can look it up if you're reeeeaaaaally interested.
I love you guys, aha Sorry if I sound weird
Happy New Year!
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:iconwotantyger:
WotanTyger Featured By Owner Jan 4, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
This is actually quite a deceptively-clever piece. :)
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:iconmiellat:
Miellat Featured By Owner Jan 4, 2014  Student Writer
LOL Thank you so much! I thought it was pretty corny, ahaha. But I'm glad you think so highly of my work! ; A ;
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:iconwotantyger:
WotanTyger Featured By Owner Jan 4, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Sometimes greater truths lie under the surface.
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:iconmiellat:
Miellat Featured By Owner Jan 4, 2014  Student Writer
True, indeed! :la:
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:iconsevenofeleven:
sevenofeleven Featured By Owner Jan 2, 2014
Your description of this unsavory meal just sounds so unreal.
Please do not serve me even one horrid dish, this is my holiday wish.

I shrink at the sight of the dish labeled "Collard Green".
Why is it orange? That is so obscene.

What is that? Kale? Look at that congealed green mess.
I makes me queasy I confess.

Here comes the turkey, they say it was jerked.
Bile rises to my mouth, the poor bird looks like it was twerked!

The food is horrible here, I doubt I will be full.
Even looking at it I have a desire for Pepto Bismol.

Hope your New Year brings you tasty treats and less of barf inducing eats!

Cool poem.
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:iconmiellat:
Miellat Featured By Owner Jan 2, 2014  Student Writer
LOL Awesome job, my friend!
Thanks, as well!
:iconepichighfiveplz: :heart:

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:iconwolfgirl2403:
wolfgirl2403 Featured By Owner Dec 31, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
HahaXD I would prob still eat it anyway... 
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:iconmiellat:
Miellat Featured By Owner Dec 31, 2013  Student Writer
Oh GOD LOL I can imagine--"What is this chocolate? Is it gourmet? It tastes delicious."
:iconlaughingplz:
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:iconwolfgirl2403:
wolfgirl2403 Featured By Owner Jan 2, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Hehe:) So would... No regrets.. Well.. Maybe some regrets later on.. Himawari Furutani (Oh my) [V1] 
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:iconmiellat:
Miellat Featured By Owner Jan 2, 2014  Student Writer
LOL I'd be in bed with stomach pain /ahaha ; 7 ; 
But food is easy to eat, especially when it looks good
:heart: :iconstrokeplz:
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